For programming in music, see Programming (music). For the process of transferring a program to an integrated circuit see IC programming.
Computer programming (often simply programming or coding) is the craft of writing a set of commands or instructions that can later be compiled and/or interpreted and then inherently transformed to an executable that an electronic machine can execute or "run". Programming requires mainly logic, but has elements of science, mathematics, engineering, and — many would argue — art.
In software engineering, programming (implementation) is regarded as one phase in a software development process.
Pa Won't Like It A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."
"Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."
"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"
"Under the wagon." The Living Statues Two statues stood in a city park: one female and the other male. These statues faced each other for many years.
Early one morning, an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire."
And with that command, the statues came to life. The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling, and twigs snapping.
After fifteen minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling.
Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have fifteen minutes. Would you like to continue?"
The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"
Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on its head!" Snoop Doggs Teeth... How does Snoop Dogg keep his teeth white?
BLEEEEEE-YATCH! Engineering In Hell An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."
So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After awhile, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?" Close Enough For Government Three young boys were fighting over whose dad was the best.
"My dad is so good he can shoot an arrow, run after it, get in front of it, and catch it in his bare hands."
"My dad is so good that he can shoot a gun, run after the bullet, get in front of it and catch it in his bare hands."
"I've got you both beat. My dad's so good because he works for the city. He gets off work at 5:00 and is home by 4:30." Chef Clown How do you know if the head chef is a clown?
When the food tastes funny.
ComedyCode - Funny programming code. Programmers can submit their own code and rate the work of others.
Meta Description: [ Computer Programming Humor - Syntactically correct code written just for fun. Good-ole fun for programmers of all types. ]
Hacker's Wisdom - Collection of programming humor and computer folklore classics.
Hello, World Page - Collecting examples of Hello World programs for as many languages and related programming environments (shells) as possible.
Holger's Humor Page - Why is C++ programming like teenage sex? What's the difference between a software developer and a drug dealer? When will operator overloading be added to Java? This page has the answers.
Jargon File - Programmer slang dictionary, containing more than 2000 not-quite-serious definitions and a number of programmer folklore anecdotes. Hosted by Eric S. Raymond.
Laugh Along with GNU - Designed to provide some laughs to the working hackers - large collection of GNU/programming humor.
Life of Programmer - Humorous observations and stories of dealing with computers and their users.
Programming is a Weird and Wacky World - Collection of jokes, satirical articles, and parodies on popular song lyrics.
Meta Description: [ LinkScan Finds Broken Links and Creates SiteMaps. Developed by Electronic Software Publishing Corporation (Elsop) ]
Quotes about Programmers - Quotations about programmers, software and programming languages.
Meta Description: [ Quotations about computer programmers ]
Reflections on Trusting Trust - An ACM classic: UNIX coinventor Ken Thompson reports on how he hacked his own C compiler.
Softpanorama Humor Archive - Open-source related humor, dissing (among others) Linus Torvalds, RMS, ESR, vi, and Perl.
Softwarequotes.com - Quotations from various programmers about programming. Includes a quotes search, newsletter, and index of quotes by person quoted.
Meta Description: [ SoftwareQuotes.com - Quotations from the World of Programming- ]
The Commentator - A program for generating comments automatically, customizable by FUD factor, profanity, self-importance, verbosity, humor level, and bitterness.
The Evolution of a Programmer - Programming style and how it evolves as programmers mature from junior high students to senior managers.
The Retrocomputing Museum - Eric S. Raymond's list of outdated, obscure, or deliberatly unusable programming languages, compilers, and interpreters.
Meta Description: [ A museum of archaic computer languages ]